Does the body know when it’s time is up? Does our internal clock have an alarm that tells us when the clock stops ticking?
Sometimes I feel like my clock is running down…maybe the intimations of mortality that I feel are nothing more than my body telling me I’m done…so stick a fork in me!
Other times, I think that I’m just afraid of dying, so my morbid fascination couples with my imagination to make me feel the icy cold finger of death brushing my soul…making my breath come short…squeezing a vise around my heart.
I guess I’ll know soon enough either way. If I continue to blog regularly, you can assume that I’m still alive.
If my blog stops abruptly, and never resumes, you can assume that the alarm went off, and the mainspring of my life has wound down…forever.
And so it goes…
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I guess if we take the most pessimistic attitude toward death and dying we could simply state that we are born to die, and consequently could be considered "living dead?". I remember being 21 or 22 years old, your brother was a baby. A cemetery plot salesman came to our house, and for must $10 per month I could have bought our "underground condos". However, in may then state of immortality I invited him to come back in another 40 years or so. Dying was never a consideration, even when I volunteered for Korea in 1953. I probably give more thought to it now that I am in the "twilight" years (10 years ago I was 63, 10 years down the road 83? Anyone who does not think about death at one time or another either is a vampire and destined to live eternally, or a dumbass. Either way stoically speaking, since there is nothing we can do about it, why worry? That doesn't mean I still won't think about it. At 47 it's ok to be a passing thought, but that's all. My mortality, I figure, is on a day to day, week to week basis; if I'm lucky mont to month or year to year! Am I ready! Hell No.
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