Sucking Blood

Speaking with my father the other day, the subject of death came up.   Neither of us liked the idea of traditional immortality, nor did we like the immortality that was gifted by the gods of old.

We finally decided that the undead immortality of the vampire might be best.   I would like to examine the options herein.

Traditional immortality—eternal youth—has its downfalls.   If everyone were to stop aging at eighteen, eventually the world would be overrun by a mass of perpetual teenagers.    The biochemistry of youth makes mature decision-making nearly impossible—so who would run the world?   Would we keep a few non-immortals around to run things, and if so, would they?  Or, better yet, could they?   Would not the very fact of their mortality in a world of immortals create a situation wherein they would lose any meaningful purpose? [see ‘Slayton Ford’ in Methusalah’s Children by Robert A. Heinlein]  Someone would have to run the show, or we would become a race of thrill-seeking, game-playing children with no future left to us, but no way to die.

The Greek gods gifted those foolish enough to ask for it with eternal life—but at a price too horrible to imagine.   For these gods, in their own vanity, punished the insolence of the mortals who asked for eternal life with just that—but not eternal youth!   Rather, the mortals became eternally alive, but continued to grow older and older, with death impossible.   Imagine being several thousand years old, and looking it!

The life in death of the vampire, while couched in myriad theological problems, i.e.; loss of the soul, never able to attain either heaven or hell, etc., also carries many traditional advantages.    For a vampire, short of the obvious perils such as a wooden stake through the heart or exposure to sunlight, is immortal.   And with that immortality comes the appearance of eternal youth—depending upon the age at which one is born to vampirism.  

At 46, I would make a chunky, gray-haired, balding vampire.   But that’s okay, because I would never change.   I don’t mind being what I am now—it’s what comes in the next 20 or 30 years that I fear, with death waiting at the end of a too brief span of years.

But to be immortal!   Sure, I would never get that all-over tan that gives my skin a healthy glow, and other than looking through a shrouded window, I would never get to see the sun again.   And the diet is distasteful to me—but to the vampiric me, I guess it would be second nature.   Superhuman strength, agelessness, and the ability to perhaps shapeshift holds an allure for me that goes beyond obsession.

So, if there are any vampires out there looking to swell their ranks, and they have read this blog, feel free to contact me.

I’m ready for the next step.

And so it goes…