Inspiration

Inspiration comes from many sources...like being stuck at work with a real bad country music radio station playing over the PA system (is there any other kind of country music station???).

I was inspired to write this, which could be made into a slightly racey, short, funny country song:

I Hate Country Music

We were parking at the drive-in late last Saturday night

Mary Jane was close beside me and I was holding her so tight

Before the movie started she turned on the radio

Tuned the dial quickly--but then I shouted “NO!”

I said, “I really hate that ‘music’,” as I made quotation fingers,

“The verses are as lousy as the smell of skunk that lingers.

Give me Ozzy or the Beatles, Aerosmith or Pink Floyd,

But don’t you turn on country music--that stuff makes me annoyed!”

Mary Jane just looked right at me as if I’d lost my head,

She reached across, turned up the radio, and this is what she said,

She said, “I just love Keith Urban, Toby Keith and Conway Twitty,

And if you make me turn this music off, then get your hand off of my titty.

You see, this music talks of life and love, of how men and women ought to be,

And if you’d listen to the lyrics, then I think that you would see.

But you would rather hear your rock n’ roll, your Chili Peppers and Mudvayne,

But when you turn that stuff on way too loud it gives my head a pain!”

I took my arm off of her shoulder then, just as my hand had reached it’s goal,

I sat back in my cordovan vinyl seat, and searched deep within my soul.

Just what was it about country that I really didn’t like?

Was it the sameness of the vocals, that they all sounded just alike?

Was it the themes that talked of losing love, losing trucks, and apple pie?

Was it written somewhere that country songs have to make you cry?

Was it the fact that every singer had the same ol’ Southern twang,

Or was it just the sound of the dobros as the good ol’ cowboys sang?

I had to be honest (to myself), the list of reasons just kept growing,

The stuff I hate about that music was beyond one person’s knowing.

But then I smiled a little smile, and looked at Mary Jane,

I turned up the radio really loud, wincing silently in pain.

But I got my touchy-feely at the drive-in not much later

And even her love of country couldn’t make me hate her,

But I’ve got to tell you, Mary Jane, and I hope you will forgive,

‘cuz I never will like country, not as long as I do live,

Give me Queen or Bryan Adams, Journey or No Doubt,

But don’t you turn on country music—unless you’re willing to put out!

©Aimless Rambler, 11/07/2005

And so it goes...